Breastfeeding Your Newborn While Your Toddler Dives Off the Couch in a Spider-Man Costume
After Jase was born, I made the mistake of calling a friend of mine to ask her how she kept her older children (two girls) busy when she was breastfeeding her newborn.
I was literally in a panic.
My toddler son would bounce off the walls (literally, there were times he would throw himself into the walls) when I sat down to breastfeed his baby brother. My body was still in terrible pain after having a vbac (vaginal birth after cesarean) and all hell broke loose when I needed to nurse the baby. Even TV didn’t really work well, because my newborn would just turn his head toward the light of the TV and not eat.
I think I was crying approximately 17 times a day at this point.
I was actually desperate to find some solutions that worked for us.
Stressed to the max, I called my dear friend Bevin and asked her what to do. I remember her- a mother of two sweet girls- responding nonchalantly, “Oh, they just do a puzzle or play quietly with their dolls.”
A PUZZLE?! I panicked.
QUIETLY?! I thought.
MY CHILD HAS NEVER ONCE DONE A PUZZLE!!
He barely even plays with his toys for more than three seconds!!
My panic was even higher than before I called her. (Thanks, Bevi!)
I hung up the phone… fully convinced that my child was developmentally delayed AND I was panicking even more about the impossible task of nursing my baby while my toddler lost his sh*t 17x per day.
I did some frantic internet searches too.
“Need to occupy your toddler? Break out one of these carefully sorted, pre-made toddler busy boxes that you thoughtfully made before your baby was born, curated beautifully with developmentally appropriate toys and crafts!! Make sure you put them away in your beautifully organized storage space (spolier: I have no storage) so they don’t get tired of the toys! You can rotate them on a regular basis and quiet time will be a dream!”
PRE-SORTED, TODDLER ACTIVITY BOXES?! Carefully stacked in a closet that looked like a Pottery Barn dream?
So now I’m stuck with my problem, my developmentally delayed child, and I’m officially the most unprepared mother in the history of all mankind.
Over the next few weeks, I found some things that actually worked for us- activities that were SIMPLE and interesting enough for my two year old that I could feed the baby and stay somewhat engaged with him.
SO if your toddler is bouncing off the walls like mine was, and you still need to sit down and feed your infant on demand, here is the magical list of activities for a busy toddler, perfect for any moment you need it!
1. Bouncy balls. Throw a bouncy ball around your house, and narrate in your best sportscaster voice to add some laughter. Then let your child throw it back to you once they finally get it and pretend to go after it (literally I just wave one arm all around in the air and shout “oh no it’s going crazy I missed it AGAIN!”)
2. Balloons. Blow them up, bat them around, let the air out so they fly all around the room so your child can chase them. The fart sounds that balloons make are a huge hit with little boys especially. Whatever, just endless balloons.
3. Water balloons. Make tiny ones, big ones, throw them, fill up the back of a dump truck or baby stroller with them and let them push them around like tiny babies. Poke tiny holes in them so they can squeeze the water out. Put a chair by your hose and let your child fill the balloons and you can tie them- it takes more time and will make the activity last longer. Every time we go to the dollar store I pick up like 10 packs of the mini water balloons.
4. Popsicle bathtime. Give your kid a popsicle and let them take an early extra fun bath and they won’t even notice that you’re busy. Sit on the toilet and chat with them, and enjoy their containment for approximately 7 short minutes.
5. Sprinkler. Set up a chair, turn on the sprinkler. Let them go crazy. Narrate if they need your involvement and attention.
6. Mini trampoline- this was especially helpful on rainy or cold days when we couldn’t go outside. Put on music. Keep the mini trampoline in the garage and pull it out as needed so they don’t get bored of it.
7. Scooter. YES! I decided during this time that it was completely reasonable to scooter or use push toys and other outside toys inside the house. We also brought the skateboard and some oversized dump trucks inside.
8. Silly songs - make a playlist of silly songs. Have snacks, put on some fun music, and you can feed the baby and sing along with your little one, feeling like a total moron but relieved nonetheless.
9. Mini pool filled with water or mini balls. Mama sets up chair right next to it and kid plays freely.
10. Let them go nuts with the hose in the backyard. Just seek cover.
11. Play dough with accessories. Play-dough does NOT usually catch my son’s attention. But he will play with it if I set out buttons, pasta, shells, beans, coins or small items.
12. Actual play dough kits- the super fun ones like the ice cream maker or pasta maker. These captured his attention and I busted them out when I really needed the oomph factor.
13. Simon says.
14. Red light, green light.
14. Cutting or snack prep. Give your toddler a butter knife and get their help cutting a banana and spreading peanut butter on banana slices. Or let them spread some peanut butter on a slice of bread. It’s hard! Don’t take over- let them keep trying and encourage them. Sit next to them and nurse.
15. Bubbles. Seems obvious but it wasn’t to me at the time.
16. Bubble gun- break it out when you’re desperate so it stays super exciting.
16. Amazing picture books. We have gotten hours and hours (and ultimately, years) from looking at our favorite picture books together. The pictures are gorgeous, the books are informative, and we still enjoy them today. Here are our some of our favorites about animals, the ocean, and dinosaurs.
17. Lift-a-flap books- I used to keep our best lift-the-flap books stashed away and bring them out when I needed the extra engagement during breastfeeding. I’ve linked our favorites here.
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0763696196?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_6
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0794440592?ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_fed_asin_title_1
https://www.amazon.com/dp/0679844686?psc=1&ref_=ppx_hzsearch_conn_dt_b_product_details_3
18. Empty egg cartons filled with dried beans and a spoon for scooping (got this one from my sister- thanks, Laura!)
19. Two empty pots inside a giant tupperware with different sized scoopers, and dried beans or rice for scooping
20. Colored water setup in the same station as above.
If you have a child who does not color or sticker for more than three seconds like mine, I hope some of these ideas are helpful to you =)
I promise you this: if you have a few of these ideas ready to go before the day starts (mom’s secret stash of easy ideas on the kitchen counter, ready to grab as needed) you will NOT feel as stressed or alone because you will have a) a plan!! b) this plan gives you confidence!! c) some fun - and that eases the stress in the house!! d) more confidence because you will feel a little like the fun mom again!! There is absolutely nothing better than feeling capable of taking care of two small humans when it hasn’t been feeling like that and I cannot wait for you to find some of that relief.
(Sidenote: during this week I also decided that I would not be pumping after nursing. I could not fathom strapping on a pump of any sort after breastfeeding and this entire process taking even longer. Our pediatrician directed me to the Weston A. Price formula recipe here (I share some modifications below). I was terrified Jase would stop breastfeeding early since I was supplementing him so early, but ironically he nursed for years in addition to his supplementation).
Here is a link to the recipe for the infant formula. I was directed to this recipe by our pediatrician, but of course check with yours.
I’m also linking all the supplies I used, which is quite an investment but the ingredients should last you months depending on how much formula your baby is taking.
Modifications I made to the formula recipe:
1 capful of Intra-Kid to each mixture
Added 2 scoops of beef liver
I eliminated the sunflower oil and whey
The Intra-Kid also eliminates the need for Vitamin C, so I left that out as well and relied on the Intra Kid as a broad spectrum multi
Here are the other ingredients you will need:
https://www.perfectsupplements.com/Green-Pasture-Blue-Ice-Cod-Liver-Oil-Free-p/gp-clo-liq.htm
https://www.perfectsupplements.com/Perfect-Bovine-Gelatin-p/ps-gelatin.htm
https://www.perfectsupplements.com/smidge-infant-probiotic-15g/
* Medical disclaimer regarding formula: The information provided on this website, including any infant formula recipes or nutritional advice, is for general informational purposes only. It is not intended as a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.
I am not a medical professional, and I do not offer medical advice or make claims regarding the safety, efficacy, or suitability of the recipes shared here. Before preparing or feeding any homemade formula to your child, consult with a licensed pediatrician or healthcare provider to ensure it meets your baby’s nutritional needs.
By using the information on this website, you agree that I am not responsible or liable for any adverse effects, outcomes, or issues related to the preparation or use of any recipes or advice provided.
Always seek the guidance of your healthcare provider with any questions or concerns you may have about your baby’s nutrition or health. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay seeking it